岳父

第一次见到岳父是在与萍的约会日子里。那是八五年夏，因为论文的事情要到北京去一趟。萍没有去过北京，答应我愿同往。那时我们初识不久，要见她父母一面，当面说说，经过许可才行。进了家门，打了招呼坐下。我生性腼腆，不盯着看人，视觉记性又差，但是当时岳父给我的印象十分深刻。他面带微笑，和蔼大方，没有丝毫审视的眼光，使初见的未过门毛脚女婿能够很快自在地同他聊天。我感觉到他声音洪亮，讲话有点儿象在台上做报告。后来才知道他是做政治工作的，以前开会经常没有麦克风，退休没多久。过后没几天，我就带着萍北上京城，开始了我们最早的一段懵懵懂懂、清纯平凡但记忆深刻的愉快旅行。三年后的秋天，我从岳父身边带走了他的第四朵金花，远涉重洋。心下思忖老人留下的“女儿交给你，我们放心”的话，感叹老人的身教重于言教的品德，细节不管，放手由她们发展，相信她们遇事作出的决断。

The first time when I saw my father-in-law was when Xiaoping and I were dating. It was in the summer of 1985. I need to go to Beijing for get some data to finalize my thesis. Having not been in Beijing, Xiaoping loved to go to Beijing with me. We did not meet too long ago then, so it was perfectly normal for her parents to meet me before giving permission. My first impression was that he was kind and easy going, not showing any examining gaze, so I felt relaxed quickly and sat down chatting with him. He spoke aloud, like speaking on a podium. I found out later that he had conducted many meetings, mostly without microphones, before his recent retirement. He was a good trouble shooter of people’s relationships. A few days later, we were on the way to Beijing, there we had one of the best times after we met. Three years later in the fall, I married Xiaoping and together we came to the U.S. On the way, I was recalling his words that he would rest assured because Xiaoping goes with me.

多年的戎军生涯练就了岳父一付铁身板，这铁身板并不是说他身体强壮，而是他无论何时都显出的军人身板，即使是在多种疾病缠身后亦是如此。腿不好，难立如松，但他的坐，绝对是“如钟”。我不止一次看到并指给萍看，七十老翁的岳父，坐在没有靠背的水泥台阶看台上，身板挺的笔直，一动不动，那姿态俨然是一座雕像。的确，人的身和心是那样的一体，岳父更有钢铁一般的意志，因为这样的意志，他经过了常人难以经受的磨难，抗过了常人难以抵抗的疾病，忍受了常人难以忍受的痛苦。他自己强忍着疾病的痛苦，不让痛苦感染别人，他愿意只给别人带来欢乐。岳母去世后，女儿告诉我说，爷爷每到奶奶去世的周年时，就坐在那里暗暗地流泪。其实何止是周年那天，岳父在岳母去世后的日子常常思念地暗自流泪，只是我们从来没有看见过，原来是他不想让我们看到他的悲伤。

Life in the army had trained him as a strong man. I am saying he was truly a soldier, a strong man in mind. Whenever he went, he would keep a natural posture of a straight back. I used to point out to my family, his lungs would be in much worse shape if he had not kept a solder's posture. I noticed a few times that, when he was watching shows, he sat so straight and so concentrated on the show just like a statue. A man's mind assembles his body. His mind is as strong as steel. Because of his mind and good spirit, he was able to go through many hardships that an ordinary man would not be able to. He would like to bring to people happiness, not sufferings. Even during the serious illness, he remained calm and humorous. He would not show his sufferings or sadness even when he suffered losses. During the days after my mother-in-law passed away, he was missing her so much that he cried behind us, but I did not find out until my Lydia told me about it after he passed away.

因为一些爱好相同，岳父象我的朋友，我们常常一起分享养鱼、看花的经验和乐趣。岳父又是我的好老师，我常常打着电话请教他种菜、育苗的时节和诀窍。我们全家一起出外旅游，当地植物园是必去之地，因为在那里可以从他的脑子里掏出许多花木的名称和习性来。五年前回国，我十分惊讶他能因地制宜，在阳台上种出了丰硕的瓜果。更赞叹他养了一缸天仙般的各种金鱼，为此他还特地带我去逛了金鱼市场。而我们则常在电话里告诉他今年菜地里丰收的情况，汇报他栽种的树生长的情况，夫人回国一定带照片让他分享丰收的喜悦。

Because many similar interests in our hubbies, he and I were like friends. We would often share our experience of keeping gold fish and plants. He was also my teacher, because he was so knowledgeable about plants and trees. I would sometimes call him about timing and tips on growing vegetables. When he was us, we would visit botanic garden whenever we have an opportunity. We would learn a great deal from him about trees, flowers, and plants. I was amazed how he could grow so well vegetables on his window sills. He also once kept a large aquarium full of beautiful gold fish. He showed me the markets where he would buy gold fish, equipment, and accessories. On the other hand, I would report our vegetable harvest from our backyard garden and how his planted trees grow and bear fruits. Whenever Xiaoping went to Wuhan, she would never forget to take photos of the garden to share with him.

同我们在一起的日子里，岳父给我们带来很多的欢乐，记得那些吃完饭，全家人按时坐在卫星电视前，一起观赏中央四台节目的日子。记得那些一起唱卡拉OK的日子，记得那些一起偶而摸摸麻将的日子，记得那些老猴子和小猴子一起耍猴的日子，也记得那些他将英文编成好笑的短语来学的日子，也记得那些屋子里充满我们两个儿女叫爷爷的甜脆声的日子。

He brought a lot of joy when he was staying with us. I remember those days when everyone sat down after dinner watching the TV shows from CCTV; I remember those days we sang karaoke together; I remember those days when we play Majiang on the table; I remember those days when he made English into funny Chinese phrases; I also remember those days when our home was filled with beautiful voices from our children calling grandpa.

岳父走了，我们感觉到一个很大的失落。然而，他活了了不起的一生，一个近乎传奇的一生。他与我们相处的日子和给我们留下的记忆则是永恒的。为此作一挽联以表追念。

We all suffered a big loss when he left. However, he lived a tremendous life, almost a legendary one. The memory he left us is a happy one and will forever stay with us.

少年从戎，闯南北，经大难练成铁骨，秉正气一身，仅留清风两袖，
老当益壮，贯中西，逢盛世潇洒乐天，能随遇而安，堪称处世揩模。